Spring Is A Time For Change

A friend of mine offered to give me a facial last weekend, because she’s training to become an esthetician (and because she’s super nice). Having never experienced a spa facial before, I was a little nervous. She set the mood with relaxing music, lovely smells from a candle warmer, and plenty of soft clean linens. Her laundry routine must be unbearable -but she does it all to make clients feel great, and it was a wonderful experience.

Before we started, she offered me a pack of square cards and told me I could choose one, as a focus for my thoughts while I was being pampered. I got “I Am Willing To Forgive” and I’m sure I made a scoffing sound out loud when I read it.

Forgiveness is a gift to myself. I forgive, and I set myself free.

I’m at the tail end of a bitter divorce, and the one thing in my life that I’ve been actively refusing to deal with is my anger towards my ex husband. I feel betrayed, abandoned, taken for granted -all the things that made our marriage so difficult, manifested into an almost tangible weight. I carry this weight around in my chest sometimes, when I’m not celebrating my new job and relationship and home.

It occurred to me as I read this card that I do need to forgive, so that I can be free of the past. Of course this is difficult for me, because I know that he isn’t sorry. That isn’t the point, however. As long as I hold on to my anger and bitterness, I’m still shackled to that life that neither of us wanted. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be over it any time soon, but at least I can be cognizant of the negativity and attempt to release it when it comes.

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2 thoughts on “Spring Is A Time For Change

  1. I got the perfect card during mine also, I’ll send it to you later.
    As for forgiveness, I love a quote that I heard years ago that has made a huge difference in my ability to move on and let go of things, let go of the anger and resentment of how I think things should have been or someone should have behaved. It was from Oprah and was something to the effect of: Forgiveness, to me, doesn’t mean that what someone did was right or okay, but instead it is letting go of the idea or wish that things could have been any different.

    That just really resonated with me for some reason so I thought I’d share 🙂 You’ll get there.

    Like

    1. I like that idea as well -it’s a waste of energy to stay hung up on the past, even if it sometimes takes over my my emotional state and makes me feel negativity I don’t want. Thanks for sharing that!

      Like

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