A friend of mine offered to give me a facial last weekend, because she’s training to become an esthetician (and because she’s super nice). Having never experienced a spa facial before, I was a little nervous. She set the mood with relaxing music, lovely smells from a candle warmer, and plenty of soft clean linens. Her laundry routine must be unbearable -but she does it all to make clients feel great, and it was a wonderful experience.
Before we started, she offered me a pack of square cards and told me I could choose one, as a focus for my thoughts while I was being pampered. I got “I Am Willing To Forgive” and I’m sure I made a scoffing sound out loud when I read it.
Forgiveness is a gift to myself. I forgive, and I set myself free.
I’m at the tail end of a bitter divorce, and the one thing in my life that I’ve been actively refusing to deal with is my anger towards my ex husband. I feel betrayed, abandoned, taken for granted -all the things that made our marriage so difficult, manifested into an almost tangible weight. I carry this weight around in my chest sometimes, when I’m not celebrating my new job and relationship and home.
It occurred to me as I read this card that I do need to forgive, so that I can be free of the past. Of course this is difficult for me, because I know that he isn’t sorry. That isn’t the point, however. As long as I hold on to my anger and bitterness, I’m still shackled to that life that neither of us wanted. I can’t guarantee that I’ll be over it any time soon, but at least I can be cognizant of the negativity and attempt to release it when it comes.