N also is for Nascent

When ideas first come to me, they often emerge far from completion -just beginning to give me an inkling of what they might be. More often than not, I’m afraid, they seem to fade away before ever reaching whatever potential they had.

People are sort of the same way when it comes to consciousness (myself included). As we age and endure the slings and arrows of this physical existance, we often feel that we’re wise beyond our years because we’ve made it this far, or seen so much. In actuality, we spend so little time nurturing our inner spiritual awareness that we’re actually remaining in a sort of nascent stasis. We learn plenty about the world around us and the people we ache to correct or avoid -but what about us?

Not quite open yet…

Inside each and every human being is a soul (believe it or not) that yearns for something we cannot grasp with our fingers or observe with our eyes. It cannot scar our flesh or pay our bills. Some of us have an inkling that we’re connected with one or two of the people we meet, and some of us wander lost and alone for a lifetime.

What’s really sad about the whole thing is that many of us recognize that need, that spiritual stagnance and it’s importance to our own happiness, and still we leave it to wither away. That desire that we have to connect to something greater is a motivator, a catalyst that could launch us into a new potential for tranquility and happiness -but we leave it there in that newly born unfinished state until sometimes it just fizzles out completely. It dies of neglect.

Those who have reached a sort of enlightenment, or seem to have come very close, realize that there really is no way to lead anyone else there. It’s different for us all -and only we can decide to turn inward and seek the connection to all those things we think exist apart from us. Only we can realize that we need something more and make it a priority. To tell someone that they need anything is futile, because most of us don’t welcome insights like that. We want to be masters of our own destiny, holding the wheel of whatever ship we’re on in both hands while we focus on anything but steering it.

I want to take back my own happiness, and feel the ties that bind me to the world I feel so isolated from. Maybe being alone is something that people shy away from because it forces us to be with ourselves, our true selves, without the distraction of others. Maybe being alone is the only way to truly find love.


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