You Have To Spend Something To Get Change

So today’s the big day… I’m going to the nut hut and hopefully I’ll be able to at least get started on the path to inner wellness. It’s kind of funny, I was in the pits of despair and insanity two weeks ago and today I’m feeling surprisingly positive. This doesn’t negate the issue so much as further define it, however.

I think my manic ups and downs are going to be a big part of the explanation when all is said and done. In any case, I’ve made efforts to increase my motivation and energy levels in the last couple of weeks but I still feel like I’ve just created a safety net that I can walk around on. Somewhere below, the distance varies, are the monsters still waiting to gobble me up. I have moments of lucidity and moments of complete and utter desperation… fortunately the latter tend to be more fleeting and I manage to distract myself before it overtakes me.

This post is going to be short, because honestly I should be on my way out the door but instead I’m here talking to you! When I got up this morning I felt alert and ready to start the day. This is extremely rare, but I know what today is and I went straight to bed last night instead of messing around. I made the kids some breakfast sandwiches and got Sebastian’s homework in order, sent him out the door and even got Charlie to pick up one of his OWN messes. He threw Mickey Mouse Dominoes all over the living room floor and together we scooped them back into the box. After that he actually settled in to watch cartoons and I got several fairly decent hours of study in; my preparations for Imbolc are coming along nicely.

Mike is up now, and watching TV with the littlest monster -so I’m off to the good doctors office. I hope. As soon as I’m able I’ll update again.


2 thoughts on “You Have To Spend Something To Get Change

  1. I hope everything goes well and you find what you’re seeking. I want you to be happy because I love you, and you deserve happiness! Soon, you’ll begin to see everything fall beautifully into place.


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