Okay, so I’ve been moored in a sea of lethargy for weeks now. Somehow, this morning, I woke up and felt like maybe I could start to snap out of it.
I got up and dressed. My husband actually woke with the baby this morning, so I was able to use the bathroom and sit down for a moment to collect my thoughts. For some time now, I’ve been considering making lists -things to do, schedules for each day, things that piss me off, etc.
In general, a lot of things have been irritating me and I think that part of my lesson in this phase of life is to be at peace with the things I cannot “fix”. This isn’t to say that I’m typically a “fixer” who takes pride in making others change their ways, or demands that things be under my control. At least not openly.
Being an Aries, there is of course some amount of megalomania to my personality but it’s mostly due to this uncontrollable drive to make things be “just” and “right”. Of course, both of these things are pretty subjective when you think about it a minute. There are exceptions of course, but even then there’s usually more than one shade of very dark grey.
Anyhow, here’s a list of things I want to do. Just for kicks.
1. Start posting two blogs a day: one here in LJ, which I am eternally loyal to, and one on my wordpress blog (gasp!) which will eventually start paying out, I hope. I only have two because this blog has been a part of me for nearly ten years now and I don’t want to pollute it with thinly veiled marketing slugs if I don’t have to. That just feels like I’m selling out my oldest and dearest blog.
2. Start a themed blog, something like “Guess what psychological disorder I have” or “cooking with Adult ADD” or something odd and humorous like that.
3. Write down my dreams every morning.
4. Clean and rearrange our bedroom, furniture and all.
5. Find a freelance writing or online gig that will provide at least a supplemental income, which we cannot continue to live without.
6. meditate daily
7. exercise at least twice a week, for starters.
8. Walk the dog every day (which could perhaps help cover #7)
9. include this blog, embedded, on my new website, www.marydiamond.com
10. Look backward through all my posts and privatize anything that I don’t want my local social group to get a hold of. Because if people who knew me ever got around to digging here… let’s just say I could end up pretty humiliated.