THIS IS WAR

We’re a plague house. As a result of everyone here being afflicted by some malady or another, I’m cleaning house.

When my 5 year old developed a cold, and the baby had a sniffly nose last week -I chalked it up to this being cold season.

When my husband and I had some sort of violent stomach-related illness that had us both bed and toilet-ridden for two days -I thought maybe we’d had some bad spinach dip.

When the 5 year old’s rebound turned out to be a fluke and he endured a fever of 101+ for several days -I got nervous.

When the baby started puking and exploding diapers with a foul-smelling bio hazardous waste -I knew. Imbolc is WAY past and I should have cleaned house when the gods alloted a time for it.

So now I am ripping the sheets off of every bed (that hasn’t already been stripped due to night-time explosions from either end) and scrubbing up the tub and both kids. Today.

After that I’ll call my mother. That’s right, you heard me. I’m calling my mother and I’m asking her to come over and help me bleach the entire house if we have to. Even if I have to endure her telling me that both kids should immediately be shipped off to the hospital because they’re less than chipper. Even if she starts doing my dishes when I really just want her to hold the baby for a minute. Even when she starts telling me that we should get rid of the dog altogether.

…maybe I’ll hold off on calling my mother. But I’m not leaving a surface un-sanitized today, whatever and wherever these bacteria are that are attacking us -THEY DIE TODAY.

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