…and it couldn’t get any colder.
This year, to be completely frank, has been shit. Two good things have come of it -I’m married and with child. Other than that, travesties prevail and death seems to be mounting all around me.
My parents are both ill; my father’s replaced knee is infected and he’s having surgery today, and my mother may or may not have cancer. She’s supposed to be referred to a doctor who will see her (without medical insurance she has to be referred) and get biopsies today -but there are only a few hours of practice left in the day and she still hasn’t been referred to the clinic she’s supposed to go to. They won’t see her without the referral.
These matters were weighing on me all weekend, and the prospect of a Latin final today was stressful to say the least. My professor is a kind soul, and I’m sure she’ll work with me in the next week. I grabbed a bite to eat before leaving DeKalb and after eating every last morsel of my mongolian beef -I discovered that my wallet was not in my backpack where I usually keep it on school days. I had forgotten it in my purse, 35 miles away in Rockford.
After flushing redder than Santa’s suit I made a few calls and found a friend who was kind enough to come to the restaurant and pay for my lunch in exchange for a ride to class. Once we got in the car he leaned over to get a better look at my gas needle, which sat on Empty, and then put a few gallons in for me. This kindness was about to restore my mood for the day when I got a phone call from an old friend.
A high school aqcuaintance of ours killed himself this past June and we attended the funeral together. I’ll never forget the image of his mother, heavily sedated and hollow… able only to recite our names as we approached her and give us weak hugs. She wasn’t there at all. I’ll never forget how foolish and helpless I felt telling her “it’ll be okay”. She just shook her head slowly and said “no”.
…She killed herself too, I just found out. Around Thanksgiving.
By the Gods, whichever ones you hold dear, let this year come to an end quickly and the next be a welcome change from death and sickness to new life and promise.