Who IS gonna raise our children?

*** edit – I didn’t realize I pretty much said most of this in today’s earlier post. Sorry for complaining so much. Read it if you want. Oh, and that earlier subject line… well… don’t ask. ***

So today I need to read chapter 14. I know, it’s not going to read itself while I’m blogging… Mom just took him off my hands early so I’ll have time to study a bit before making the trek to Corn Town.

I felt like such a bitch when he came in, interrupting my reading yet again, to tell me some random story he’d made up about objects flying. I laughed without heart and told him mama needed to get some reading done. When he came in to describe the tower he’d built out of blocks I smiled and sent him away. WHen he came to tell me he’d built the tower BIGGER I went and ooh’d and aah’d for a while and came back. When he returned yet again to tell me it had fallen so now he’d rebuilt it taller than himself I came in and took a picture of it.

He gets so bored being home with me all day. I have so much to do, that even though I feel guilty for enjoying the little bits of time we do get to play -at the same time I don’t feel it’s enough. Then there’s the schoolwork I’m neglecting and the money I could be earning while I’m stealing moments away to wrestle with him or give him hugs and kisses or help him past the hard part in his video games.

I love capitolism as much as the next working class american who’s never made enough money to be comfortable -but why does it have to be assumed that the children will raise themselves while you’re putting every ounce of strength and resourcefulness to keeping you head above water? Sometimes I just want to cry.

Mercury retrogrades also have this habit of making me feel as if I’m trapped in my own head and the thoughts that constantly beat me up are totally running the show. I want out!


One thought on “Who IS gonna raise our children?

  1. I’ve been feeling the same way lately. I either have to see my kids when they’re asleep or go without electricity. They need me but they need me to pay bills too.
    Give yourself credit though. You got up and ooh’d and ahh’d and you tried to pay attention to him when he told you his stories. At this age, they don’t know that it’s halfhearted. It is better than “I’m busy, go away.”
    He will admire you someday for working and going to school and being such a good mom along with it. Right now, he’s probably just happy that you came to see his blocks.
    As for the money and the schoolwork, setting it aside to have those moments is okay. You have your whole life to work. You only have a limited amount of time to hug your baby. Someday he’ll be too cool for that.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s