Junioritis?

As I type this I am sitting at home in my PJ’s. Bastian finally went back to sleep after keeping me up all night crying and coughing. He woke up with a fever of 99. something. He’s just not feeling well, and I have put off other work deadlines until today -which means if I call and cop out I feel twice as guilty. I could use my cell to do interviews and try to put together a story but that would cost $ for the minutes and I just don’t know if this is the kind of story you can DO from home.

My 9:30 class started six minutes ago. I’m late for it every day that I go. Which isn’t often enough.

I’ve been having motivation issues lately. Bastian getting sick is no surprise, but honestly I expected it would be me. I smoked a bunch of cloves Saturday and Sunday nights, and felt hoarse and a little congested yesterday. Maybe I still will catch it. I don’t particularly care either way.

Sunday night I went to this charity show we sponsored through my PRSSA chapter. The guy from upstairs, we’ll just call him “C”, was there. I’ve been out with him once, had him over playig video games or watching movies a few times, and haven’t really felt any sparks. I wasn’t sure how to deal with that -since he seems to be attracted to me.

Well, at the bar he turned my face toward him and moved in for the kiss and I balked. I kinda pecked him on the lips and froze up, staring over the rim of my glasses at the band. I was working, and we were in public which made me uncomfortable. On top of that, I didn’t want to kiss him -but I have been nothing but friendly. Does attention really equal interest these days, as my distant friend Tristan tells me?

It’s sad, but it seems to be true. So have I led him on, or is he taking advantage of my socially programmed guilt complex about not putting out?

/sigh…

In other news, my old “buddy” J (who I dated for like a month before discovering he had a g/f) is now single again and called me. He’d like to come spend a weekend here. hmmm.

I’m tired, and I need to get up and get things done today. WHAT is GOING ON with me!?

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2 thoughts on “Junioritis?

  1. I understand where you are coming from. I have completely lost my motivation even tho because I love to torture myself and am soo afraid of failing I force myself thru anyway but with tons more stress and worrying than necessary. And Im doubly freaked out cuz I dont know how I can pull out enough gusto to do these summer classes too and then have fall semester again. Im feeling the burn and it sucks.
    Anyway… you’ve been able to maintain a clear head these past few months in regards to the whole boy thing so I hope you are able to keep it in regards to that “j” guy. I dont want to see you make the same mistakes again. Be strong sista, what we really need to do is pull ourselves together, have some drinks, sing some bad karaoke and just chill the hell out. Whatdya say???

    Like

    1. Fo’ Sho’.
      I got invited to the Goodyear Pimps show on Friday. Their manager said he’d put me and a friend on the guest list…
      Ya wanna? (They played witn NIL8 last weekend. I guess there’s a new album!)

      Like

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