Good Morning Starlight… The earth says hello!

Imagine yourself (or more appropriately; imagine ME) waking up, groggy, at 8:30 or so on a Saturday morning to find a buck-ass naked 2.5 year old handing you a diaper heavy-laden with the nights urine deposit.

…Now read the rest of the story…

Bastian woke me up this morning in the above situation. As he handed me the diaper which was full of pee, but he was telling me it was full of poo, I slowly began to take stock of the situation. We threw away this diaper and as I lay him down to wipe him off and put on a clean one, he was babbling about pooping on his floor and on his book. I discover -simultaneously- that he’s got crap on his bottom. Like I said, I was tired, but I began to put two and two together.

While I did the usual clean diaper routine, Bastian and I had a little talk. He told me that because I had made a mess on his bedroom floor, he had pooped on his floor and on his book. I asked him if Grandma had put him up to this, as she is often inclined to plant seeds of vengeance and encourage random acts of illogical, albeit didactic, rebellion. I couldn’t argue with him, or even get mad really -because I have left our laundry on his floor and it IS a mess. It’s MY mess, and he’s got a point… which makes this situation funnier, more disturbing, and generally freaks me out.

He said no, “Grandpa did”.

…reeling from the implications, but too tired and frankly shocked; I walked into Bastians room and began searching for the culprit of that earthy dooky smell that was permeating the air. He came in and showed me, sure enough, the healthy turd that lay just next to one of his favorite books, “The Shape of Me and Other Stuff”. The book had crap tracks, as he had apparently let out the turd atop the book and it had somehow slid off.

…now granted -this event is bordering on his rekindling interest in potty training, and he has developed a bad habit of taking off his diaper and handing it over when he feels like it. But, this was a little too much for me NOT to post.

Now that I’m mostly awake, I’m pondering whether he didn’t just take off his diaper in the usual way and then realize he had to go. He can’t put a diaper back on, but he knows where the toilet is. He has a stool to get to it, but he seems reluctant to crap in it. He’s gone pee in the potty a few times, but apparently he disagrees with the practice of taking a load off in the pot. We flushed the turd in question this morning, and he seemed genuinely excited. He pushed the handle down with a flourish and then waved at the toilet saying, “BYE BYE Poo Poo!! BYE!!”

…So hopefully we’ll be skipping the books and going right to the toilet next time. My fingers are crossed.