Saturday

Well, I caught up on some sleep today. It felt so good to finally just sleep until I felt like getting up. Of course, my son woke me up at about 7 and wouldn’t let me go back to bed until around 10. I didnt go back to sleep, I just layed in bed for a while.

We went to the bike path and walked and saw the ducks. No one has called all day. I left a message here and there.

I guess I’m still feeling pretty isolated, but I was thinking about it today and am trying to make the best of it. Perhaps my hermit personality is more than just “inner wisdom, gentle as a dove but wise as a serpent” as my Tarot teacher tells me. Perhaps it’s natural.

We were walking by the river and saw a mother duck with lots of little babies around her. The babies were so cute, and the mother duck’s feathers were all ruffled. It looked like she’d had a bad haircut. It amused me, but at the same time I related to her. Then it occured to me that there was no male duck around. I thought, “it’s natural”, the male animal doesn’t always stay around to raise the babies. So our situation isn’t as dire as my darkside always makes it out to be.

I’m supposed to be enjoying my “freedom” according to all the astrological charts I’ve even done on myself. It may be that I’m denying my true wishes because I have been socially motivated much of my life. I’m trying to surpass the shallow longing for acceptance by others. Not that longing for acceptance is always shallow -it’s human nature. I guess I just want to master the whole “Know Thyself” thing.

So I’m buckling down and getting used to it. When we move to Dekalb (next month hopefully) we’re going to be alone even more. Of course then we’ll have our own place, just me and Bastian. THat’ll be nice.

Here’s to rollin’ with the lack of punches.

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